Change is in the air, but it is not just a change of seasons. I can feel myself moving forward. Probably the least stressful move I have felt in the last year and a half. So many time my change came with physical and chemical changes to boot. I cannot even begin to describe what it is like to have all of your relationships in transition, while also having your body and hormones changing at the same time.
It is so exhausting to have everyone freaking out and grasping to understand while you are quietly drowning in change. Even though all my change has been good. It is change none the less. Some relationships transitioned and some simply dissolved. I had to grieve while still making forward motion, in order to not lose momentum. This is the part about transition that I truly believe makes the suicide rate so high amongst young trans people. The sheer mental and physical strain is a lot to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret a moment of it. I just wish that society were more understanding. The stress of it all can really ware a person down. But finally here I stand. For a moment.... Not in survival mode, but in thrive mode.
This is a miracle I can only attribute to the Grace of God and the strength I find through my relationship with Him. It is for freedom He set me free. And I am grateful and reminded of the words to that old hymn "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand"
No comments:
Post a Comment