I can't be the Chuck Bass to Your Blair Waldorph Anymore

When my ex and I were together I used to play her that Wade Bowen song "Sometimes a Battle Won is a Battle Lost"

Now that we are done, I find myself feeling like I am constantly on the losing end, even though I set her free to go find happiness.

I know it sounds cheesy, but I love the show "Gossip Girl" The thing I noticed is that even though Chuck Bass isn't a great guy, he is constantly sacrificing his pride and ego to help Blair move on. Dang it if that psycho girl can't just leave him alone. She always comes back, and finds a way to insert herself back in his life. She repeats what a horrible person he is, only to try and remind herself because she doesn't want to love him.  No matter how hard she tries to hate Chuck, she can't.

This is how this year has felt for me! I keep trying to cut ties, to make things simpler so we don't have to speak, but it is getting expensive. $600 Dental Bill, $500 Kohls Bill, $200 to replace the vacuum, $20 for the Christmas tree, $275 for the stuff I paid on the phone bill that was hers. To top it off she sold the iPhone on craigslist and there is a $525 bill for what is still owed on it. Each time she repeats "After this, we are never speaking again" At this point I'm like "That is great, cause every time I speak to you it cost me $500"

I don't mourn the loss of a friend anymore, cause she has shown her true colors. She has repeatedly done, the one thing that I told her I feared most in a relationship. She messed with my money, and turned her back on, not only our relationship, but our friendship.

I am tired of playing the Villain in her head! Go find love, and happiness, and whatever it is that I didn't have.  If you hate me, then hate me. But maybe you could just resolve to the poem at the end of "10 Things I Hate about you" and then maybe your heart can start to heal. Maybe then, you can make room for grace, and forgiveness and happiness. It is a lot of work to be so angry and bitter. I broke up with you because I cared about your happiness more than anything. I didn't make you happy!

Jan 7th will be a year since we broke up. Make 2017 the year, you actually take care of you. Signed "Somebody that you used to know"