4th of July is my favorite holiday! Even probably more than Christmas or Thanksgiving. It's hard to explain why that date means so much to me, but I am going to give it a try.
In past years I have spent the 4th with good friends, floating the river, hanging out at the lake, playing croquet and pool. I've spent the day with my siblings swimming and eating pizza, one year we snuck into the hospital to surprise my grandmother, and made cereal necklaces. I've watched airplanes in place of fireworks due to drought conditions, and played 🍎 to Apple's until the early morning hours.
There is something about the fourth that has always brought a special gratitude to the forefront of my mind; For the freedom's that I have, and the people that I love. Being in a family that has a long history of active military, I know that anything can happen and that we are not guaranteed time.
As the Holiday approaches things feel different for me this year. Like so many other things in my life, this day too has changed. While I am still grateful for freedom, I am painfully aware that the fight for equality is not over. And while I am still so thankful for the people in my life that I love and that love me back, I feel a deep sense of loss.
My transition has been very isolating at times, and I have lost people that I truly love and care about. But for one reason or another, they could not get past the changes that I am making, in order to live as my most authentic and happy self. I don't hold any grudges, but I am mourning those losses. I again remember that we are not guaranteed time, but some people I care for, don't value me in the same way. I'm sad that I am losing time with those people.
I know that part of growth is making room for people who love me for me, but I don't think that any "man is so rich, that he can afford to throw away a friend" and with that said, I'm will continue to mourn my lost friends and family members.
Love is patient and kind, and holds no counts of wrongs. I love you all.
Happy 4th of July
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